Please note the immediate rider, ‘I’ does not apparently represent ‘we’.

We shall see. We are going to Switzerland for 10 days in March. I have always had a fascination with this country and these are the things that I must experience.


  1. I want to hear cowbells, and lots of them. I would love the see the cows coming down from the pastures but this happens in the beginning of October, so will save that for another visit.



2. I have to help Heidi look after Grandfather or Alm Uncle. I need to make sure that the goat herd Peter is still reading to his blind grandmother and that Clara’s health is still going well and that she is still drinking the fresh goats milk and enjoying the fresh mountain air

3. I want to be on time, because the Swiss always are and I want to meet like minded people for a change

4. I want to see and hear a lot of clocks going off because that is what the Swiss people are famous for and probably why they are always punctual.

5. I want to say friendly “Grüezi” when I see anyone

6. I want to dress up to go grocery shopping and show that I am uber chic

7. I want to see a Guggenmusik band and maybe join, and dress up and play impromptu performances in the town square in a crazy outfit

8. I want to go to an expensive handbag shop and ask to see the same one that Oprah Winfrey did and see what happens. I have 2 responses planned in anticipation that they won’t show it to me. One from Pretty Woman “Big mistake” or “I’m telling Oprah!”

9. I want to go to Geneva to buy a book from the UN entitled ‘How to swear around the word”

10. Yodelling – I must hear this mountain to mountain communication, from Alp to Alp until it drives me crazy or I join in.

11. I have to take many trains through Switzerland like the Swiss chocolate train and the Golden pass, which snakes between Luzern and Lake Geneva’s Montreux, through some of the most spectacular scenery on earth

12. I feel it to be an obligation to see if the chocolates are all that they are hyped up to be. Public service if you will.

13. I have to catch a Funicular, purely because it is an awesome word and will give me an adrenalin dose.

14. I will take a cable car, probably the Grindelwald-Männlichen Cableway because it is one of the longest cable car rides in the world I will be able to see the stunning mountains of Jungfrau and Eiger. I will probably be scared and clinging to the floor, but I think that the view will be too magnificent to cower.


15. I have to see the Matterhorn simply because it is the Matterhorn, the towering majestic mountain that man still attempts to conquer and does not always win.


16. We are staying in Zermatt and the ethos is,  “in Zermatt, après ski begins at noon” and this appeals to me a lot.

17. I have to ski into Italy for lunch and back to Switzerland for dinner…. because we can.

18. I want to see and hear people playing the alphorns, and they had better be dressed in their lederhosen to complete the picture.


19. I have to eat a lot of cheese; aka a fondue will be on the cards

20. I want to see polo played on snow.

21. I want to think about my mental stability which will be de riguer in a country that Jung and Rorschach came from

22. I want to kiss people 3 times, because I know that this is the correct protocol in Switzerland

23. I want to go into a bank and watch the ‘gnomes of Zurich’ and see if they are as scary as the goblins of Gringotts Wizarding Bank

24. I want to shoot an apple off of someone’s head just like William Tell to prove that people still stand up for what they believe in

25. I want to see Geneva and the lake and go to Cern


‘I’ think that this seems highly realistic and undoubtedly I have missed some important one’s.


Want to help me (us) out with your suggestions?

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